Terrible, terrible news.

22 01 2010

Do you remember in October when we went to a wedding and I ate what I dubbed “The Vagina Mushroom”? Well, it turns out that even though we thoroughly vetted it’s origins at the time, we didn’t vet hard enough.

(Backstory for Jeremiah’s pals or lucky-to-find-us internet people-
I’ve been a vegetarian for 16 years. Yep, at camp in 1993 I gave the stuff up with the same dedication that a 7th grader has to her pooch… which I was and had.)

This evening we went to our second wedding and they also had my favorite vulva doppelganger fungus, this time in a soup. When he saw me spot it and get all excited (you know how I get about dirty shaped food by now) Jeremiah grabbed my arm and said, “Can I tell you something even if it will upset you?” What the hell is a girl supposed to say to that?! It turns out he wasn’t convinced before and did some internet research and discovered it wasn’t what we thought it was. He said I should ask if it was from the sea.

So I did. “A mushroom?” I asked. “Yes, yes! A mushroom!” my English speaking colleagues responded. They even conferred after responding and came upon the same conclusion. “From the sea?” I prodded. More conferring. “Yes, yes! A SEA mushroom.” Well, goddammit. It’s some sort of freaky animal, people. Newsflash- A sea cucumber isn’t a cucumber, but I knew that one already. The weirdest part about the whole debacle is that these women are my friends and they KNOW I don’t eat meat. We’ve eaten meals together and they’ve done the polite Chinese tradition of ordering a ridiculous amount of vegetable dishes so I would have things to eat. They’ve steered me clear of other meat on the table at this very wedding! The logic boggles my poor Western brain.

Sidenote- it turns out Jeremiah might have discussed his suspicions with someone… I’m looking at you, Hibler.

UPSIDE! The evening was not a bust. Check out this peanut.

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4 responses

22 01 2010
Hibz

Did you not catch the “Hibler huh” when you told me it was a mushroom? However, you really seemed to enjoy it the first time you ate it…

23 01 2010
Renee

so… what was it?

23 01 2010
Night Ranger

It’s a kind of jellyfish.

24 01 2010
Diana - mom's sunday school friend

your mom told me about the vagina mushroom….but I had to read it for myself….you are HYSTERICAL Missy…….you should wim the pulitzer for this blog….LOLOLOL….have fun, Diana

ps./////How much weight have you lost….between the walking and the gross food…i would think it would just melt off!

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